My Sweet Monkey,

At five years old, this separation must feel like an eternity to you—because it does to me. Every day without you feels too long, too quiet, too empty. I wonder if you miss me too, if you ever look for me, if you ever wonder why I’m not there. And oh, how I wish I could tell you.

I’d give anything to play baby with you again. It was always a two-way street—sometimes I got to hold you, pretend to feed you, rock you, and burp you, but other times, I was the baby. You took such good care of me, combing my hair, getting me ready for my day, making sure I was dressed just right. And, of course, you’d always take me to “daycare” and tell me, I’ll be right back for you, Nana. I love you. My heart melted every single time. It was such a sweet game, one you loved so much, and one I would give anything to play with you again.

The hardest part of all of this is knowing that while the distance between us is short—I could be there in under ten minutes—it might as well be a million miles. Circumstances beyond my control are keeping us apart, but I am trying, my love. I am trying every day to find a way back to you, to make sure you know how deeply you are loved, how much you are missed.

And until I can hold you again, I will keep writing. I will keep loving you. I will hold onto every memory of you so that one day, when you’re old enough to understand, you’ll know that I never stopped thinking of you. I never stopped missing you. And I will never stop loving you.

You are my sweet girl, and you will always have a place with me.

With all my love,
Nana